Misunderstanding in Dumb and Dumber

What a miss understanding ......
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Being Poor in Spirit While Rich in Things!!

As Americans, we live in the richest nation in the world. So, the idea of being poor in spirit while being surrounded with degrees of material prosperity and opulence that relatively few have ever enjoyed, presents us with both an extraordinary challenge and opportunity that can either prove to be powerful or destructive depending on how we choose to respond to it. So, we need to ask, “How are we supposed to be poor in spirit while being rich in things?”

First, we must understand what the phrase poor in spirit means. This phrase is found in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3).  It is the first of the eight beatitudes that all begin with blessed, which means literally “happy, fortunate or blissful.”

We need to understand the actual meaning of these words. The word poor comes from the Greek word that means “to shrink, cower or cringe,” as beggars often did in that day.  Classical Greek used the word to refer to a person who was reduced to total destitution. One who was crouched in the corner begging, with one hand reaching out and the other covering his face in shame. This term is not just used to simply mean poor, but begging poor.  This is the same word that is used in Luke 16:20 to describe Lazarus.

The Greek word normally used for poverty is a different word entirely and is used to describe the poor widow Jesus observed giving her offering at the Temple.  She had very little, but she still had two small copper coins (Luke 21:2). The words “in spirit” focus not on material poverty, but on spiritual poverty.  In the same way that people are begging poor materially, here Jesus is describing begging poor spiritually.

Being poor in spirit comes when we recognize our total spiritual destitution and our complete dependence on God. There is no saving resource in us.  There is nothing that we can offer of value.  We are left begging poor and our only recourse is to reach out our sin-sick hands and beg God for mercy and grace.

The story of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:10-14 niv is the classic contrast between one who was rich in spirit and one who was poor in spirit.  Jesus said, “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

We do not like the idea of admitting that we are poor in spirit.  It is contrary to our human nature.  We fight against acknowledging it. A good example of this resistance to admit a poverty of spirit is found in the great hymn “At the Cross.”  It has a line in the first verse that says, “Should He devote that sacred head for such a worm as I?”  David uses this term “worm” in one of his Messianic Psalms (22:6) niv “But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people.” So, this term is a biblically inspired word describing Jesus on the cross.

However, the thought of being a worm is so repulsive in our modern culture that most current hymnals have changed the original words to the song from “for such a worm as I” to “for such a one as I” or “for sinners such as I.” We just do not like to admit that we are spiritual worms.  But in contrast to the holiness of God, a worm is a very accurate description of where we stand with God spiritually.

The joy of it all is that God so loved us worms that He sent His son to redeem us so we could experience a spiritual metamorphosis and be changed from a worm to a son.

So, being poor in spirit is not about how God views me or even how other people view me, it is about how I view me.

The best way to understand what poor in spirit means is to look at how men viewed their own spiritual “richness” when they came into the presence of God.

Isaiah said, “Woe to me… I am a man of unclean lips”(Isaiah 6:5 nasb).
Gideon said, “O Lord, how shall I deliver Israel? Behold, my family is the least in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my father’s house. (Judges 6:15 nasb).
Jeremiah said, “Behold, I do not know how to speak, because I am a youth”(Jeremiah 1:6 nasb).
Moses said, “Who am I” (Exodus 3:11 nasb).
David said, “Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?”(II Samuel 7:18 esv).
Peter said, “Depart from me; for I am a sinful man” (Luke 5:8 nkjv).
Paul said, “I am the foremost of all (sinners)”(I Timothy 1:15 nasb).
Poverty of spirit is a personal awareness and recognition before God that there is nothing in us or about us that warrants any sense of self-sufficiency or spiritual “richness” that might be applied to our credit.  We are all at our core begging poor spiritually.

St. Francis de Sales wrote a book entitled, “Introduction to the Devout Life,” [trans. John K. Ryan (Garden City, NY: Doubleday Image Books, 1972, pp. 161-167)] that is a series of hypothetical letters to a new convert he calls Philothea (“Lover of God”).  In one of his letters de Sales addresses the issue of material possessions and the attitude a Christian who is poor in spirit ought to have towards them. His counsel is quite profound especially since it was written over 400 years ago.

“Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.”  Accursed, then, are the rich in spirit for the misery of hell is their portion.

A man is rich in spirit if his mind is filled with riches or set on riches.  The kingfisher shapes its nest like an apple, leaving only a little opening at the top, builds it on the seashore, and makes it so solid and tight that although waves sweep over it the water cannot get inside.  Keeping always on the top of the waves, they remain surrounded by the sea and are on the sea, and yet are masters of it.

The Poverty of Spirit to be Observed in the Midst of Riches

Your heart, dear Philothea, must in like manner be open to heaven alone and impervious to riches and all other transitory things.  Whatever part of them you may possess, you must keep your heart free from the slightest affection for them.  Always keep it above them and while it may be surrounded by riches it remains apart from riches and master over them.  Do not allow this heavenly spirit to become captive to earthly goods.  Let it always remain superior to them and over them, not in them.

There is a difference between having poison and being poisoned.  Pharmacists keep almost every kind of poison in stock for use on various occasions, yet they are not themselves poisoned because they merely have it in their shops and not in their bodies.  So also you can possess riches without being poisoned by them if you merely keep them in your home and purse and not in your heart…

Unfortunately, Philothea, no one is ready ever to admit that he is avaricious (“has an insatiable greed for riches”).  Everyone denies having so base and mean a heart.  One man excuses himself on the score that he has to take care of his children – that this fact puts him under obligation to them, and that prudence requires that he be a man of property.  He never has too much; he always finds need for more.

The most avaricious men not only deny they are avaricious but even think in their conscience they are not such.  Avarice is a raging fever that makes itself all the harder to detect the more violent and burning it is.

Moses saw the sacred fire that burned but did not consume the bush.  On the contrary, avarice is a profane, unholy fire that both consumes and devours but does not consume an avaricious man…

How to Practice Genuine Poverty Although Really Rich

Dear Philothea, I would like to instill into your heart both wealth and poverty together, that is, great care and also great contempt for temporal things.

Have greater care than the worldly men do to make your property profitable and fruitful.  Princes’ gardeners are more careful and faithful in cultivating and beautifying the gardens in their charge than if they were their own property.  Why is this?  Undoubtedly it is because they see the gardens as the property of princes and kings to whom they want to make themselves acceptable by their services.

Philothea, our possessions are not our own.  God has given them to us to cultivate and He wants us to make them fruitful and profitable.  Hence we perform an acceptable service by taking good care of them.  It must be a greater and finer care than that which worldly men have for their property.  They labor only out of self-love and we must labor out of love of God…

Therefore let us exercise this gracious care of preserving and even of increasing our temporal goods whatever occasions present themselves as so far as our condition in life requires, for God desires us to do so out of love for Him  But be on guard so that self-love does not deceive you.  Sometimes it counterfeits the love of God so closely that one might say it is the same thing.  In order that it may not trick you and that care of temporal possessions may not degenerate to avarice…we must practice real poverty in the midst of all the goods and riches God has given us.

Frequently give up some of your property by giving it with a generous heart to the poor.  To give away what we have is to impoverish ourselves in proportion as we give, and the more we give the poorer we become… until such time as God shall restore it to us we remain the poorer in the amount we have given.  Oh, how holy and how rich is the poverty brought on by giving alms!

There are two “ditches” on each side of this narrow road of being poor in spirit while being rich in things that must be avoided.  One ditch to avoid is not letting our material possessions deceive us into becoming rich in spirit – thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought (Romans 12:3). The other ditch to avoid is not letting our lack of material possessions deceive us into concluding that having material possessions is somehow carnal and unspiritual – leading us to becoming rich in spirit because we have little.

The centerline on this road, simply stated, is to be spiritually poor while being materially generous. So, the more begging poor we become spiritually and the richer and more generous we become materially, the more useful we will become to His Majesty, the King.

So Why Do People Fight? Evolutionary Theory and the Causes of War

The causes of war remain a strangely obscure subject in the discipline of International Relations. Although the subject is of cardinal significance, theories of International Relations address it only obliquely, and most scholars in the field recognize the lacuna only when their attention is drawn to it. While people have a good idea of the aims that may motivate states to go to war, an attempt at a strict definition of them is widely regarded as futile. This article seeks to show how the various causes of violence and war all come together and are explained within an integrated human motivational complex, shaped by evolution and natural selection. These interconnected causes of fighting — some of them confusedly singled out by various schools in IR theory, most notably within realism — include competition over resources and reproduction, the ensuing quest for dominance, the security dilemma and other prisoner’s dilemmas that emanate from the competition, kinship, identity, and ideas.

The Relationship Between Man And The Natural World

While the starting point of any reformative transformation stems from the will of the individual human being, this reform is reflected in the way that man deals with her/himself as part of nature, and deals with the natural world as part of her/himself. By reaching this stage of awareness, the oneness of Allah means for her/him the oneness of life.

The unity of life is very apparent concept in the Islamic teachings:

Glory to Allah, Who created in pairs all things that the earth produces, as well as their own (human) kind and (other) things of which they have no knowledge (HQ: 36: 33- 36).

There is not an animal (that lives) on the earth, nor a being that flies on its wings, but (forms part of) communities like you. Nothing have We omitted from the Book, and they (all) shall be gathered to their Lord in the end (HQ: 6: 38).

That is, all creatures are coming from one origin and returning to that origin. To Allah everything returns. Therefore, all creatures belong to one another.

Unity of life should be brought to man's awareness always because it represents an aspect of experiencing the oneness of Allah. According to this principle, man builds her/his relationship with nature, and with her/his fellow man. In her/his way to fulfill her/his earthly needs, s/he should not violate that principle.

Fulfilling her/his needs is not a simple response as it is in the animal kingdom. It is related to complex sets of relationships, between man and the natural kingdom (animals, birds and plants), between her/him and her/himself (is s/he greedy or self – controlled?), between her/him and her/his fellow human beings (with whom s/he shares and to whom s/he provides) and between her/him and the society where s/he should respect others’ ownership and privacy.

While her/his ultimate goal is to be a Servant of Allah, s/he should start her/his earthly journey, using the gifts that would make achieving that goal possible. Man, as a vicegerent of Allah, should behave out of this understanding, and strive to be worthy of that rank. He should be just to himself by being just to everything in the world; not to destroy a plant, shoot birds for pleasure, hurt an animal. S/he should respect life everywhere. The respect of life went to the extent that The Prophet (PBUH) advised believers to continue planting even if they foresee the coming of Doomsday.glossary

This respect of the unity of life serves two purposes, it emphasizes humans’ awareness of the Divine Law and its manifestations and, as such, encourages man to seek understanding of the Divine Law within the natural world. Out of this understanding, science develops. On the other hand, it creates an awesome feeling within man's heart, observing the Creator within His own creatures. Out of this inner interaction, art comes through.

… whithersoever ye turn, there is Allah's countenance. (HQ: 2:115).

As vicegerent of Allah, man is asked to build and invest not to destroy or mischief

Allah loveth not mischief (HQ: 2: 205).

Out of respect to Allah's creations, man should think and try to understand the relationship between the natural phenomena and to be aware not to misuse the natural gifts.

Man's Physical Body
As Part of the Natural World



Man's responsibility for her/his physical body is interrelated to her/his responsibility towards nature. To take care of her/his health and well-being can be accomplished without aggression on the natural world:

So eat and drink of the sustenance provided by Allah. And do no evil nor mischief on the (face of the) earth (HQ:2:60).

We are supposed to deal with our own body as part of the natural world. Therefore, we have to take care of it and fulfill its requirements without being indulged in its desires and lusts.

The Prophet (PBUH) says,

“It is enough for the child of Adam to feed her/himself with an amount of food that keeps her/him going" (PH).

Narrated by Ahmed, and Al Tirmidhi

In order to achieve the required balance, we need to remove the contradictions that exist between the earthly requirements and the spiritual longing. Therefore, we have to be aware that our physical existence is a gift from Allah that we should be thankful for, and that taking care of our body is a sacred task and an expression of gratitude to our Creator. In other words, our body acquires its importance as a tool through which our spirit expresses itself. It is understood that Allah provides us with instincts to keep our survival on earth. Assured that we are here for a purpose and that each of us has a mission, we should then try fulfilling our mission through this physical existence and take care of this tool.

In order to fulfill our physical needs we come across the natural world. For example, in order to survive, we need to eat. The teachings of Islam came to include a divine dimension with the way that man fulfills her/his needs. The general rule is that man was advised to say "in the name of Allah", before any action s/he intends to do. That statement stands as a continuous reminder that we have to be up to the meaning of the divine words that we utter. The implication is, we become tools in the hand of the Divine and we do what we do in His name. Out of respect to Allah who gives us that position, we should not exceed our limits, and we should always make a balance between satisfying our needs and protecting the natural resources.

Because all revelations natural and prophetic, including the teachings of Muhammad (PBUH) , respect Life in all its manifestations, it is understandable why killing an animal for consumption becomes a problem in some non-prophetic revelations. However, this seeming paradox between respecting life in all its manifestations and using animal as human food is resolved in Islam. The belief in the oneness of life and the unity of all its aspects implies that eating the meat of animal’s means that the life of the animal nourishes the life of man, and as such this animal's soul is blessed by moving to a higher level of existence. As such slaughtering animals for food consumption is allowed but according to certain values and regulations that reflect the oneness of all.glossary

During the act of the slaughtering the person must pray for the animal soul by saying "in the name of Allah. Allah is Great". Man is addressing the soul and asking it to surrender to Allah's will. The act of slaughtering should be done with a very sharp knife and directed to the neck nerve quickly without hesitation, that is, to minimize the animal's or the bird’s pain. This act should never ever be done in the presence of another animal(s), not to scare them. There is a clear order that the animals that are slaughtered without following those procedures, their meat is forbidden to eat. And it is considered a sinful action for its doer.

We, thus, have to be careful, and not to indulge ourselves in any sabotaging actions. We become more and more aware of the inner connection that ties us, humans, to the whole. With a growing awareness of that connection, we become more balanced. To be in balance requires a continuous self-observation and be open to the inspiration of Revelations without being fanatic and literal.

In other words, while man's search for satisfying her/his physical needs are considered "naturally legitimate", fulfilling those needs should be in harmony with the objective of creation. In fulfilling those needs, s/he humanizes them by elevating them from the instinctive animalistic level to meaningful responses that are purely human. While so doing, s/he is not causing harm to other aspects of life, rather helping them also fit into the purpose of their existence.

The teachings of Islam mean to facilitate man's life, and not to complicate it. For example, it would be impossible for people who live in deserts to live without depending on the sheep products. This is one of the reasons that meat is allowed. In our modern time, we came also to realize that meat and animal products provide the human body with essential amino acids that are not supplemented through other food resources.

Facilitating man's life goes to allow in certain circumstances what is forbidden otherwise. If man is obliged to eat forbidden food to survive, s/he is encouraged to do so:

But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits, then is he guiltless. For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful (HQ: 2:173).

Missconnection Quotes!

“There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."
"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."
"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“We're all born with selfish desires, so we can all relate to those feelings in others. But kindness is something made individually by each person...so it's easy to misunderstand when others are trying to be kind to you.”
― Natsuki Takaya

“True rebels hate their own rebellion. They know by experience that it is not a cool and glamorous lifestyle; it takes a courageous fool to say things that have not been said and to do things that have not been done.”
― Criss Jami


“How often, you wonder, has the direction of your life been shaped by such misunderstandings? How many opportunities have you been denied--or, for that matter, awarded--because someone failed to see you properly? How many friends have you lost, how many have you gained, because they glimpsed some element of your personality that shone through for only an instant, and in circumstances you could never reproduce? An illusion of water shimmering at the far bend of a highway.”
― Kevin Brockmeier

“It's dreadful what little things lead people to misunderstand each other.”
― L.M. Montgomery

“We're all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding.”
― Rudyard Kipling

“As soon as we start putting our thoughts into words and sentences everything gets distorted, language is just no damn good—I use it because I have to, but I don’t put any trust in it. We never understand each other.”
― Marcel Duchamp

“They have the unique ability to listen to one story and understand another.”
― Pandora Poikilos

“In a language as idiomatically stressed as English, opportunities for misreadings are bound to arise. By a mere backward movement of stress, a verb can become a noun, an act a thing. To refuse, to insist on saying no to what you believe is wrong, becomes at a stroke refuse, an insurmountable pile of garbage.”
― Ian McEwan

“As if on cue, Fiona appeared in another of the ballroom's multiple doorways. 'Beatrice! Oliver! How many times have I told you no skating in the house? I just had these floors refinished.'
'So that's why it's extra slippery today,' mused Oliver. 'Cool.”
― Jennifer Sturman

“He built up a situation that was far enough from the truth. It never occurred to him that Helen was to blame. He forgot the intensity of their talk, the charm that had been lent him by sincerity, the magic of Oniton under darkness and of the whispering river. Helen loved the absolute. Leonard had been ruined absolutely, and had appeared to her as a man apart, isolated from the world. A real man, who cared for adventure and beauty, who desired to live decently and pay his way, who could have travelled more gloriously through life than the Juggernaut car that was crushing him.”
― E.M. Forster

Why do nice people cheat?

Dan Marino, Hall of Fame quarterback, husband of 28 years and champion of autism awareness, cheated on his wife and fathered a child in 2005 with a CBS employee. Marino has always been seen as a clean-cut family man. In addition to four children, he adopted two daughters, and as a result of raising his own autistic son, developed the Dan Marino Autism Center.

Finding out that he cheated and fathered a daughter begs the age old questions: How can someone seemingly so good do something so bad? Can good people cheat? Statistics vary, but it’s assumed that 50 percent of men cheat. In my own study of over 400 women, 39 percent admitted to physically cheating on their husbands.

So why is cheating so rampant? We crave emotional connection. In my study, only seven percent of cheating men said they were after the sex as compared to 48 percent who reported it was the desire for emotional connection that drove the impropriety. Eighty-eight percent of cheaters said the mistress was not better looking or in better shape than their wives. It is just not as simple as wanting sex.

Most cheating occurs after he’s formed some close friendship with the woman with whom he will eventually cheat. When men feel emotionally disconnected at home, too many make the horrifying choice to find it somewhere else instead of working to reconnect with their wives. Often, they too are surprised at how their emotional friendship turned into something deeper and physical when that was not their original intention.

We don’t protect our marriages. Chemistry is powerful, and people are deeply searching for companionship and love. When a couple is not actively engaged in nurturing their marital love, they risk danger. Not that cheating is ever justified; it is an ugly choice. But the similar desire to be actively in love has driven us to marry, and sadly, can drive many to look outside their marriage for that love as well.

This is why men must be careful not to even allow close friendships to form with other women. They might say it’s fair game, but we need to be developing closer connections in our home, not away from it.

If you have found yourself enjoying another woman’s friendship, you need to ask yourself things like: when have I laughed like that, or had a great discussion, or had a fun time, or had a great meal, et cetera, with my wife? Typically, it’s been too long, and it’s time to bring that energy home and work to renew your loving connection.

The world of sports and movies create a recipe for cheating. The lives of these powerful men take them away from their spouses for weeks and months at a time. These men are idolized and offered adoration by women at every stop. These men have handlers that support the belief that they are great and loved by everyone. They begin to believe that they can do anything and all will approve. These combinations create fertile ground for broken marriages.

The answers to protecting your marriage from cheating lie in making your marriage successful. Keep in mind what it takes to be successful in every other part of life: time, focus and loving work. Our marriages need the same ingredients, and if we feel our love is faltering, that’s the time to go to our spouse and discuss how to fix it.

It might seem easier – at the moment – to start a relationship elsewhere, but no cheater has ever told me he’s happy it happened. Every cheater regrets it. He might have been heading for divorce anyway, but he never feels good about what he did to his family when he chose to cheat.

Even a Dan Marino can do so much good and cheat. But until he worked as hard on his marriage as he did on being a great quarterback and dad, he risked his loving home. Our marriages are to be cherished, and if we aren’t reminded every now and then of why we love our spouse, it’s time to work harder – like every other part of life that we wish to never let go of.


By Guest Contributor M. Gary Neuman, FoxNewsMagazine

Eight Things No One Tells You About Getting a Divorce

Even when ending your marriage is the right choice, it’s still hard — and not always in the way that you expect it to be. We all know that about half of marriages end in divorce, but not a single one of us ever thinks it will happen to us — which is why it can feel all the more unreal and heartbreaking when it does. In those early days, especially, it’s easy to feel like you won’t get through the next hour — let alone the whole day. Here’s what we wish we’d known.


1. You’re Braver Than You Know

You’re going to hear a lot of people telling you that you’re taking the easy way out and that you should suck up all the hurt and sadness because you took vows or because it’s better for the kids. Ignore them. It takes a huge amount of courage to stand up and demand a better life for yourself, your kids, and, yes, even your ex. Making a change is always harder than sticking with the status quo, so be proud of yourself. As for the kids: They deserve to have happy parents who can actually be present for them — and they deserve the chance to see what a healthy relationship looks like so they have a shot at having one someday, too.

2. Telling the Kids Will Be One of the Hardest Moments in Your Life…and You’ll Have to Explain It More Than Once

When it’s time to tell the kids, share the news together. Try not to demean or blame each other. And if it’s within your means, get advice ahead of time from a therapist. How the children react will, of course, depend on their age and temperament, but be prepared for anger, tears, screaming or even silence. They may blame one of you outright (rightly or wrongly). They may blame themselves (the hardest). And if they’re older toddlers or young preschoolers, there’s a good chance they’re not going to get it right away. Which means you’ll have some version of this conversation again and again.


3. Once News is Out, People Will Tell You They’ve Had a Bad Feeling About Him for Eons

You’ll ask them why they never said anything before. They’ll say, “Oh, you know, I didn’t feel like it was my place,” or “I didn’t think it would change anything…you were so in love with him.” Both may be perfectly true, but having this information now isn’t helpful or supportive. Feel free to say as much.

4. Friends Will Disappear and/or Take Sides

Obviously, you enter every relationship with your friends and his friends, and when you split, your people go with you. What’s harder is dealing with friendships you genuinely shared. For a while, you may still see each other solo, but as time goes on, some of those relationships will fade. Divorce makes people uncomfortable, and sometimes, it’s easier for them not to be around it. As unfair as that is and as hard as it may be to let go, it may be for the best. Surround yourself with people can see you for you — divorce and all.

5. You May Cry Spontaneously (And That’s Okay)

The trigger could be anything: A family walking down the street. A pregnant woman. A co-worker announcing her engagement. Or the fact that the dumb cable people are three hours late and why can’t something just go right?! Go ahead and let it out. You’ll feel better. And look, there are some things you might just not feel like doing for a while, especially if it involves celebrating someone’s marriage or baby. Try to go anyway. Yes, you’ll need to put your game face on but your friends, who’ve been there for you, still need you there for them.


6. You Must Find Ways to Be Kind to Yourself


Divorce comes with a tremendous amount of guilt, and it’s going to be very, very easy to blame yourself for, well, pretty much everything. Number one: It’s not all your fault. Nobody chooses to end a marriage unless they’ve wrung their heart dry with trying. So as you move forward and try to take care of everything and everyone else, remember to take care of yourself. Spend time with friends. Go for walks. Splurge on a spa day. And if you’re really struggling, don’t hesitate to see a therapist. Getting a totally objective point of view can be incredibly validating and reassuring.


7. Seeing Your Kids on a Schedule Will Feel Completely Wrong

And then you’ll all get used to the new normal. Whether you opt for 50/50 custody or a more traditional see-Dad-on-the-weekend schedule, there are going to be days in your week when you don’t get to put your child to bed or be there to wake him up. (Some clueless people will say, “Oh, but at least you get a built-in break!” Once again, ignore them. This is not the way you hoped to get a break from your kids.) You’ll miss them and the house will feel empty, but after a while the schedule simply becomes life.

8. You Will Eventually Want to Date. And It Will Be Weird, But Insanely Fun

Without even realizing it, your vibe is going to change. You may be out with a few friends and suddenly find yourself talking with a guy. And flirting. And depending on how many drinks you’ve had, perhaps making out like a couple of college kids. Yes, you of the two kids and minivan and “broken marriage.” And why not?! Be a kissing bandit for while. Go out on lots of dates. Be responsible and safe, but have tons of fun and enjoy the attention.